How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:

1. Welcome the disagreement: Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” if there is some point you have not thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.

2. Distrust your first instinctive impression: Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best.

3. Control your temper: Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.

4. Look for areas of agreement: When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.

5. Be honest: Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.

6. Promise to think over your opponents ideas and study them carefully: And mean it. Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: “We tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”

7. Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest: Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of themm as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.

8. Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem: Suggest that a new meeting be held later that day or the next day, when all the facts may be brought to bear. In preparation for this meeting, ask yourself some hard questions:
Could my opponent be right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem, or will it just relieve my frustration? Will my reactioon drive my opponents further away or draw them closer to me? Will my reaction elevate the estimation good people have of me? Will I win or lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it, will the disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me?

POWERFUL!!!! POWERFUL!!!! So many arguments can be avoided from a small disagreement if we only take these steps to ensure peace.

Hope that helps someone today on their journey. Have a fabulous weekend.

Luv Wendy
“Bella”

Basically the Definition of Karma is this:
Karma is simply the process of cause and effect. If you do A, B will happen. If you plant tomato seeds, and water and look after them, tomatoes will grow.

whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap St Paul, Galatians 6-7

Before we are born in this world we decide, while still in the realms of Spirit and along with our higher guides, the lessons we shall pursue here. Spirit helps us pursue these lessons by creating the conditions necessary for us to receive our chosen experience.

Karma is not about punishment. In Spirit there is no absolute right or wrong. It is about experience and fulfillment of purpose. The idea that we are punished for sins is a man-made form of social control. A highly advanced soul may choose to incarnate into a crippled body, or as an insect, if that is beneficial to their progress.

I’ve really come to understand and realize that Karma influences our current life in two ways. First, we carry karma as part of our life conditions, though not all of our conditions are karmic in origin. Karma is the part of our conditions that represents unfinished business and other residues from the past. Second, we create future karma continually with every thought and action.

As an individuated part of Spirit there will be particular areas of growth necessary for our personal evolution. There are also areas in which we may best contribute to the growth of Spirit in its totality. Sometimes karma thrusts us into diametrically opposite conditions than we previously experienced.

The first step in dealing with existing karma is awareness and acknowledgement of it. Are there any themes that seem to recur throughout your life? Nothing happens by chance. Recurrent themes suggest the hand of karma. These recurrent themes are telling you they are providing conditions for some necessary life experience.

This experience may be obvious to you, but where it is not you may need to ask Spirit for guidance through prayer, meditation, or through your dreams.

Once you understand the karmic themes of your incarnation you can start working with them, ie swim with the tide rather than against it. If you find it hard to acquire or hold money, you need to practice good money management. If you find it hard to make friends you need to be that bit nicer to others… If you’re not sure how to work with your karma, ask for guidance and be open to the answers.

The second aspect of karma is that it is being created all the time. Every act of will, every thought, is a karmic act. By acting in accordance with our Spiritual purpose in particular and Spiritual principles in general (“thy will be done”) we create good karma for tomorrow. But good karma doesn’t mean material success, it is concerned with Spiritual progress and making one’s soul available to more advanced lessons rather than continually repeating grade 1.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you Matthew 7-120

Karma works at a more immediate level by returning to you what you give to others. There’s nothing particularly mystical about this. If you’re friendly to others, you receive friendship. If you’re generous, people are more inclined to be generous to you.

Karma vs Luck : Some people think they are the same, however Luck is the quality that seems to attract good things to some people and repel them from others. But is luck real, or all in the mind?

To some degree luck is an illusion, or simply a matter of how you look at life. Say someone won $10,000 on the lottery, but just missed the jackpot by one number. Some would consider themselves lucky to get $10,000, while others would be cursing their misfortune not to win a million. If you find yourself cursing your luck, take time to count your blessings. You will find they are many.

The “other man’s grass is greener” syndrome also distorts our perception of luck. Human nature tends to notice others’ good fortune and our own bad. In fact everyone has their share of problems, burdens, challenges, and blessings too, to lighten the load. The key here is to focus upon your own pathway.

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players Shakespeare

Having said all that, luck as a manifestation of karma, is real. Some people do attract money jobs, the right partner… I know I for sure attracted the right partner with manifestation and also the same with him for attracting me. All we can do is try to recognize our own particular conditions and to operate to the maximum within these.

So, next time something happens to you, take a minute to think about the Karma. Be aware of all your thoughts and actions, as they can come back on you with KARMA.

Have a fabulous day

Wendy
“Bella”

The Value of a smile at Christmas

It cost nothing, but creates much.
It enriches those who receive, without impovershing those who give.
It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
Noone are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.
It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.
It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and nature’s best antidote for trouble
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen for it is something that is no earthy good to anybody till it is given away.
And if in the last minute rush of Christmas buying some of our salespeople should be too tired to give you a smile, may we ask you to leave one of yours?
For nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give!!

Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people fronw, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.

So remember today to smile, share your gift to others, so they can share their gift back to you

Love Wendy
“Bella”

Red is often a sign of power and passion, so perhaps it’s not much of a stretch to think a woman wearing crimson might be more alluring to men. Recent research would suggest, however, that red isn’t just for the ladies.

Women from the United States, Germany and China found men more attractive and desirable when the guys were pictured wearing red or framed in red than with other colors, according to research published in the August issue of the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.

“Red is typically thought of as a sexy color for women only,” study researcher Andrew Elliot, of the University of Rochester and University of Munich, said in a statement. “Our findings suggest that the link between red and sex also applies to men.”

In a similar study published in 2008, Elliot also found red on women drives men wild. That study appeared in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

So Tiger Woods already has a leg up with the ladies on Sundays, as he always wears a red shirt on the greens this day. His golfing success in that garb also may have some scientific basis. A study published in 2008 in the journal Psychological Science found that referees are biased in favor of athletes who wear red. The study involved tae kwon do competitors who tended to garner more points when they sported red rather than blue.

Anthropologists Russell Hill and Robert Barton of the University of Durham in England also found that wearing red is linked to a higher probability of winning across a range of sports. The scientists examined one-on-one sports in the 2004 Olympics, including boxing, tae kwon do, Greco-Roman wrestling and freestyle wrestling. Competitors were randomly assigned red or blue outfits or protective gear. In 16 of 21 rounds, the red-clad athletes won.

Perhaps, the researchers say, our perception of red has an evolutionary basis. Past research has shown red correlates with male dominance and testosterone levels in animals. And in humans, “anger is associated with reddening of the skin due to increased blood flow, whereas fear is associated with increased pallor in similarly threatening situations,” the scientists wrote in the May 19, 2005, issue of the journal Nature.

As such, athletes may have a subconscious reaction when they see opponents wearing red that puts them at a disadvantage.

Red can have a down side, though, as the 19th-century classic “The Scarlet Letter,” can attest to.

Even a hint of red can have a negative impact on test takers’ performance, suggests a study that Elliot and colleagues published in 2007 in Journal of Experimental Psychology: General. When study participants were aware of red prior to an important test, such as an IQ test or major exam, they associated the color with mistakes and failures. As such, they did more poorly on that test.

So wear your Red well everyone!!!
make it great

Luv Wendy
“Bella”

I have deceided to read again the fabulous book “How To Win Friends & Influence People” by Dale Carnige.  This is deffinitely a must read, as many times as you can.  If only the entire world could read this book, at least once, it would make a huge difference.  I believe this book should be in all the schools with all the teachers and students studying it together.  What a life changing expereience it is.   I wanted to share this lesson with you today, from page 29 if you have the book and want  to reference it.

It states this:  In the long run, flattery will do you more harm than good.  Flattery is counterfeit, and like counterfeit money, it will eventually get you into trouble if you pass it to someone else.  

The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple.  One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out: the other from the teeth out.  One is unselfish: the other selfish.  One is universally admired: the other universally condemned.

Flattery is just cheap praise. Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.

When we are not engaged in thinking about  some definite problem, we usually spend 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves.  Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth.

One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation.   In our interpersonal relations we should never forget that all our associates are human beings and hunger for appreciation.  It is the legal tender that all souls enjoy. 

So if you can, pick up this book for the first time, or if you have it, please re read it like I am .  What powerful lessons there are and its super because when you read the second time, you get a different perspective of the lesson because you are in a different place than the first time when you read it.   I love it!!

Make it a great day everyone.  Would love to hear any comments if there is a part of the book that stands our for you.

Luv Wendy

“Bella”

2 Events happening in Newarket, Ontario. August 12th and August 19th, please rsvp to Wendy to reserve your seat. This is a private event so space is limited. Looking forward to sharing this amazing program with you. Have a super day

Luv Wendy
“Bella”

Have you fallen into a pattern of sleeping poorly? Are you concerned that you may not sleep well tonight? Getting a good night sleep is very important to your physical and emotional health, but falling asleep easily and sleeping well are surprisingly complex and subject to being interrupted by a wide range of factors.

Sometimes insomnia is a result or a symptom of a serious medical condition. As one example, sleep apnea, a sleep disorder characterized by pauses in breathing during sleep, is a very serious condition. If your insomnia is severe, or is associated with other symptoms, please see a physician. The tips and suggestions that follow are not medical advice and are not intended for anyone in ill health.

Here are a number of simple actions and choices you can make right now to help you sleep better TONIGHT. There are also a number of additional tips for better sleep that require longer preparation and are covered in another article How to Overcome Frequent Insomnia.

1. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. If you want coffee in the afternoon or evening, make it decaffeinated. An alcoholic drink, especially more than one, will not help you sleep better. A drink may, or may not, help you fall asleep, but alcohol causes you to sleep poorly and be unable to sleep all night. Cigarettes are always an unhealthy habit, but especially in the evening.

2. Avoid spicy foods. Indigestion prevents good sleep.

3. Don’t overeat, but don’t go to bed hungry. If you aren’t allergic to milk, try a small glass of warm milk or a piece of mild cheese in the evening. A small piece of chicken or other protein may also work well before bed.

4. Drink enough water early in the day to hydrate well, which can help you avoid nighttime leg cramps and is generally good for your health. However, avoid water and other fluids for the last two hours before bedtime to reduce your need to go to the bathroom during the night.

5. Avoid taking a nap longer than 15 minutes during the day.

6. Get your regular daily exercise earlier in the day – take a long walk in a natural setting if you possibly can – and be quiet the last couple of hours before bedtime.

7. Spend the two hours before bedtime quietly, without stimulation or stress. Read calming inspirational books or listen to soothing music. Avoid adventure books, stimulating or upsetting conversation, and especially do not watch any kind of television show before bed.

8. To help you relax, take a hot bath, practice meditation or conscious breathing, do gentle Yoga, Qigong, or progressive muscle relaxation.

9. If you have aches and pains, massage the painful places – possibly with a pain-relieving gel – or better yet, ask your partner to massage you.

10. Repeat positive affirmations to replace worries about not sleeping with positive thoughts.

11. Make your bedroom as dark as possible. Consider using a sleep mask (eyeshade) if you can’t make your bedroom dark enough.

12. Make your bedroom as quiet as you can. If you have a clock that ticks loudly, replace it. Consider using earplugs if your bedroom is noisy. Or experiment with other alternatives… Some people find that the white noise from a fan, as well as the air flow, helps them sleep better. Others find soft music or natural sounds like waves or bird songs to be relaxing and induce sleep. If you use music to help you fall asleep, you may find that you get better rest later in the night if you set the music to turn off after an hour.

13. Find the most comfortable temperature for sleep. Generally a room temperature slightly cooler than during the day, combined with a light cover, is most conducive to good sleep. However, some people find a colder room and heavier bedcovers work better. Others prefer a warmer room and no covers. Experiment to find the combination that works best for you. Make sure your feet are warm. If your feet tend to be cold at night, consider wearing socks to bed – making sure that they are not too tight around your ankles. Try a hot water bottle if your feet are cold when you first go to bed.

14. Experiment with different sleeping positions, and match the height of your pillow to the position you choose. For sleeping on your back or stomach, choose a thin pillow. For side sleeping, a medium height pillow is best. Try sleeping on your right side if that is not already your preferred position. Resting your top leg on an extra pillow may increase your comfort.

15. If you can’t fall asleep in 15 minutes, try counting your breaths as you breathe deeply and slowly. If you are still awake after counting to two hundred, go to another room and do something relaxing, such as reading an inspiring book, until you feel sleepier

And with that said my friend, I wish you sweet dreams zzzzzz

Luv Wendy
“Bella”

I have had to make some tough decesions lately, ones that will affect the rest of my life, and ones that might not make a difference at all , however, both circumstances/decesions were thought provoking and mind altering for me. I am sure you have been there before yourself, however, I realized this:

Every decision you make – every decision – is not a decision about what to do. It’s a decision about Who You Are. When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes. You begin to see life in a new way. All events, occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.

I so realize that life is about Who we Are, not what we do. Please share this with someone you love to enlighten them, on Who they are!!!

I am so glad YOU are who YOU ARE. Continue to walk in your own personal Greatness. There is noone like YOU~
many blessings,

Luv Wendy
“Bella”

Whenever you ask a question, the subconscious mind searches—almost like a computer—to find the answer. For example, if you ask, “Why do I always sabotage my relationships?” your subconscious will come up with an answer, such as “You have lousy relationships because that is all you deserve” or some other nonproductive answer. It does not doubt the premise of your question; it just tries to find an answer.

These kinds of questions are called “unworthy questions.” Whenever you ask yourself a negative or unworthy question, you will get a negative answer, which creates more negativity in your life. Negative questions thwart the opportunity to get the solution to a problem and keep you in a victim mode.

So today, whenever you find yourself thinking an unworthy question, I would like you to immediately replace it with a worthy or noble question. For example, if you find yourself asking, “Why did this happen to me?” immediately replace it with a noble question, such as, “What value can I get out of this situation?”

Noble questions can be better than affirmations because they lead to action, and once you are in action mode, you will feel that you are in control. You can even periodically create noble questions for yourself, such as “How can I experience even more joy and love in my life right now?” Your mind does not doubt the premise that you are already experiencing joy, so your being responds by feeling good!

Your subconscious mind also begins to search for answers to your questions. For example, if you ask yourself, “How can I feel and be even more abundant?” your subconscious mind may come up with some fabulous creative ideas for you to become more prosperous. But if you ask, “Why am I always broke?” your subconscious mind will not doubt your premise that you are poor, and may give you an answer such as “You are broke because you do not work hard enough!” which does not empower you.

Today, create one inspiring noble question to repeat over and over again:

“How can I love and appreciate myself even more right now?”
“How can I make a positive difference in the lives of those I love?”
“How can I radiate even greater health?”

Wishing you all a wonderful day!

Luv Wendy
“Bella”